empathy

Every moment prepares you for every other moment. That moment when the universe stormed and shut off the sun and the dark went click and you felt torched by hot rain in a black well, when you said I was never prepared for this and you were right. It was living not for that moment but to prepare you for this one here, this one now. The one where your eyes see - she has lost something, something she has lost in the same moment when you had muddled your mind with thoughts about the mess and the long drive and the temperature of the weather and you feel pangs of guilt and confusion of how fate works such pain like rain clouds over the wrong people. Searching, you search for your faith, it leads you not to answers but to look up. You look up and recognize the nebulous shapes to realize the fire has struck your neighbor's house and not your own, not this time. Such distance yet so close your fingers can touch, city limits touch, continents touch. You wonder how it feels to have lost something immense - a child, a dream, purpose, hope. What all vanishes when the sun clicks off. Except immeasurable despair, and almost you turn away to prepare your hands to make dinner. But can you rise long enough to stand, to reach out, to feel the feeling that she is a real person and not a camera shot of suffering. Nor story board. Nor anything except the heat and hair and skin and fabric of a real human being. You wonder if she can feel her own hands holding each other, or if all is lost. You wish you could exchange breaths, to give her a moment's relief. So there it rises. Reach deep. The swath of empty you recognize. You barely believe you can. But you know the well and that day and the darkness I was never prepared for this and somehow it calls you forward from way back there to do what you were never prepared to do except you are.

If only empathy, let it be empathy. If prayer, let it be prayer. But if it is more, let it be more.     

Songs to my kids

Why? Write to be not forgotten.
----
It's a Beautiful Day
It's a beautiful day it's a beautiful day it's a beautiful day
God gave us: sun (clouds, grey skies, rain, snow, etc...) today -

The farmers and the bees and the plants and the trees say: thanks!
I'll join the heavens and the earth to sing His praises

It's a beautiful day it's a beautiful day it's a beautiful day! (2X).


Little Cloud
there's a little cloud in the blue, blue sky
and it's calling out your name

singing: Addy, Joey - come to me
and catch the breeze and I will be
the little pillow in your dreams

(there's a little cloud in the orange, orange sky...)
(there's a little could in the snowy white sky...)
(there's a little cloud in the starry night sky...)


I Love You
I love you I love you I love you I do (4X)
I love you Joey bigger than the sky
I love you I love you 'cause you are my guy
I love you I love you and I always will
And when I'm not with you my love's with you still
I love you I love you I love you I do
I love you Joey I love you - I do.

I love you I love you I love you I do (4X)
I love you Addy bigger than this world
I love you I love you 'cause you are my girl
I love you I love you and I always will
And when I'm not with you my love's with you still
I love you I love you I love you I do
I love you Addy I love you - I do.


Hey Baby
Hey baby, I think maybe it's time it's time
It's time to go to sleep and catch 100 winks
as the sun sinks
into tomorrow's brink and I will sing
this little song to you.

To you to you to you
I don't know what I'd do I'd do I'd do
If you were feeling blue so blue so blue
I don't know what I'd do.

So goodnight goodnight goodnight
Everything will be alright alright alright
Don't let those bedbugs bite those bedbugs bite
Okay I'll sing it one more time.

Goodnight goodnight goodnight
Everything will be alright alright alright
Don't pee your pants tonight tonight tonight
Darling - goodnight.