Evolution of Belief

They believed.
Raised me to believe.

Childlike
Belief.
Naively believed.
What is belief?
Wondered if I believed.
Believed I believed.
Needed proof to believe.

Worried
If I believed.
Tried to believe.
Wished I believed.
Questioned belief.
Doubted I believed.
Forgot about belief.
Why believe?

Revisited
Belief.
Challenged belief.
Frustrated with belief.
Ridiculed belief.
Too good to believe.
Complete self belief.

My children are born.

I asked myself:
Do you believe?
I answered: I don't know anymore
What I believe.
Ran through the motions
As if I believed.
Waited.

Nothing.
Resigned to
Just pretending I believed.
And to my children,
Preaching belief
Without living belief.

Shock.
A simple question.
One day, He asked:
Do you believe in Me?

Terrified. Disbelief.
He knows my simple answer:
No.
I do not believe.

The loneliest torture.
I can't believe.

Waited.
Waited.
Waited.
Wrote.

Realized,
Broken self belief,
And incomplete.

Listened.
The page told me:
You need belief.

He told me:
You need Me.
I answered: Yes.
I prayed: Please.

Opened.
Confessed.
Surrendered.
I see.

Now
By God's grace,

Yes.
I believe.