A parent's day job is a mystery no kid is trying too hard to figure out.
After years of childhood oblivion, I eventually paused to learn a few interesting facts about my dad's occupation: he worked at Ford, took leftovers for lunch, had a beat-up brown briefcase, designed stuff on large scrolls of paper. As for my mom, who went back to work as an x-ray tech when I was 9, all I knew for sure was that she wore a cool white coat, snapped pictures of bones, and brought home free poster board when my brother or I had a school presentation.
I never thought too much about any of it. Most kids don't. At least, not until they start trying to network for a summer job, and even then, kids care more about who their parents know than what they actually do.
But now as an adult, if I had to guess, I'd say it's because parents know - kids care less about what they do at work because they care much more about who they are at home. Because it's at home, not at work, where the real lessons and mistakes and silliness and all the good, deep stuff in life dwell. Because where you went to school actually says less about who you are than how many recitals you show up to or if that look of pride remains in your eyes, even when, especially when - they strike out, they miss, they come in last place. Because moms and dads know that children spend their whole lives trying to impress them and not the other way around. They know this because they are still the children of parents, too.
Kids never ask us for our parental résumé. Maybe they should. But imagine that. On our really off days, they might never hire us. And technical skills? Throw'em out the window. Can you build a fort? Can you do the chicken dance? How realistic are your animal sounds? Demonstrate three. Now six more. Everything's par except the zebra. Needs more bray, less squeal. Take him down an octave. Practice before round 2 interview. Now let's talk management: How do you handle stress? How do you handle stress when we scream? You scream too? You throw yourself, where - on the bed? On the floor! Okay you're fired. Fine one more chance - quantitative assessment: how many hugs per day per child? Kisses per day? Pieces of candy? Not bad. You've recovered from the zebra setback. Come back for round 2 after Dora's over. Grill cheese in the meantime. Please.
As for our "real" résumé, the only part of it that kids really care about is that last optional line: "Personal interests/hobbies." Here, kids do in fact care about what their parents do...with them (and, might I add - for them).
In any case, it's not such a bad thing that our kids don't bother themselves with trying to figure out what we as parents do. It only reinforces just how beautifully their minds work - that indeed, and so rightly - our children are impressed by the greatness of our love, not the greatness of our title.
Now if only the rest of the world could measure us the same...
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